Dear neurokin,

In 2025 I was given a thoughtful gift voucher for a swimming technique lesson. The aim was to boost my confidence, in particular with the front crawl stroke.

Whilst experience gift vouchers are always thoughtful gifts, I find it ends up being stressful remembering to book them before they expire.

Such was the case with this swimming vouch…

Read more

Dear neurokin,

Music is a constant companion in my life.

When I wake in the morning I always have an ear worm: a song playing in the background of my mind.

It can either be a song that I associate with my waking thought or just some random music that I might not immediately be able to identify. I will soon identify it, along with key facts about it. If …

Read more

Dear neurokin,

‘What actual day is it?!’ I hear you cry.

For, here we are in Betwixtmas. That weird time when the days all blend into one. We’ve crossed the finish line, after that mad rush to meet someone else’s deadlines, in the shortest, darkest, most jaded part of the calendar year.

It’s actually my favourite bit of all this forced joviality and over…

Read more

Read more

Dear neurokin,

This week, we’re wrapping up this current line of enquiry into are we late discovered neurokin a generation of circuit breakers?

If you’re new to Belong; we are neurokin, welcome 👋

Here are the previous two articles in this series:

• Are We a Generation of Circuit Breakers?

• Circuit Breakers in Action - Part 1 - Annie Ridout

In this article we …

Read more

Dear neurokin,

Following on from my last article, in which I opened up a line of enquiry: Are we late discovered neurokin a generation of circuit breakers? today we’re exploring circuit breakers in action.

I can’t remember when I first came across Annie Ridout, but I know her words made me sit up and listen.

Read more

Dear neurokin,

It was when I was being coached that it came to me. I was exploring why I wanted to continue to write in this Substack page Belong…We Are Neurokin and my next book, about what it means to live your life beyond neurodivergent discovery.

Read more

Dear neurokin,

My attention was caught, in January 2025, by the words of comedian Amy Gledhill.

I nodded along, as I listened t…

Read more

Dear neurokin,

When I was in the very early days of exploring what autism meant for me, I remember saying to someone “it feels like everything is unravelling”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, that sounds awful”

I remember being taken aback by their reply, because yes, I was really battling with some big emotions, but unravelling felt like a good thing.

It felt lik…

Read more

Read more

Have you ever really wanted something to happen? Had a specific change you’ve been longing for in your life?

And then when the change does happen find that you cannot settle into it?

Are you finding it impossible to work out how you feel? And at a loss to know which way to turn to find a way to make your thoughts or feelings less uncomfortab…

Read more

Right now, for me, life feels a bit like I am stumbling from the wreckage of an earthquake, covered in dust and blinking in the bright sunlight. I have a feeling of relief; we made it out safely. And, there is still the aftershock from the tremors.

If you are wondering what the hell I am talking about, I’ve written much more my husband very recently having a kidney transplant here: The amazing gift that revitalised a life

My life is still dominated by hospitals and medical terms I don’t fully understand; phosphates - anyone? Phosphates have become a part of my daily dialogue until they are in check and balance and then I won’t need to use that word anymore.

I’m struggling to know what to write about or to fully form new ideas.

And then something happened at my youngest son’s 10th Birthday party at the weekend, that deeply moved me and then filled me with joyous hope.

I feel compelled to write about it.

Full Circle Moments

Over this past week I’ve noticed a couple of full circle moments, when you can look back and see yourself at the beginning, feeling that you have now reached some kind of end point that neatly brings the arc full circle.

Maybe it’s happening as my youngest son has reached double digits, the big 1-0!

My sons entry into the world was quick and surprising. He was born 6 weeks early and as his lungs were yet to be fully formed he spent the first 20 days of his life in the Trevor Mann baby unit at Royal Sussex Hospital.

Every day I was in that hospital providing him with the nutrients he needed, via a feeding tube, to help him grow strong enough to come home with us.

When I was able to I took a break, wandering to the nearest bookshop, which just so happens to be a beautiful space of tranquillity and calm Kemptown Bookshop

I didn’t have the energy to buy any books to read. Just being in that space, gazing at the book spines and feeling like they were bringing me solace was enough for me.

I bought a note book from there, one that I write in every year for my son, to tell him about good things that have happened for him.

Last week I sat in that bookstore again. This time I was there as a writer. I was enjoying a taster session of two year Creative Writing course that I think I’m soon going to sign up for.

I felt the power of that full circle moment as I joyously contemplated what colour palette a story might have.

I thought about how much me and my life have changed and how I love that I’ve grown into creative expression with words.

The second full circle moment I had last week happened at my son’s 10th birthday party at LaserZone.

“We’re not bothered about gender Mum!”

As I went through the guest list with him I said “there’s 5 boys and only 3 girls”

“We’re not bothered about what gender people are Mum! These are my friends and it doesn’t matter if they are boys or girls”

Ok then, quite right he is too.

With a good blend of neurodivergence in the mix too, I knew that two of the girls are autistic.

“I just want to know where the exit route might be”

When the two autists arrived I chatted to them individually, with their parents, to reassure them that if at any point it got overwhelming we could go outside and stand in the sunshine away from the noise, movement and weird neon lighting.

One of them had already thought about that and said “If you can show me where the exit route is then I will be fine”

I know for both of them, they were happy to be there and I know it was also a big deal for them. Party’s can bring all the autistic challenges to the surface, especially at the age of 10:

• Sensory overload

• Trying to read and understand the social cues and what is expected from us

• Trying to communicate in noisy and busy environments is challenging

As I watched one of the girls awkwardly lean against a wall, almost trying to shrink into it, with all the self consciousness that you feel like everyone is assessing your every tiny move. Not fully understanding what people are talking about or the point of even standing in this spot.

In that moment, as I gently observed this, my heart felt the deep sadness of all those memories of my own. I could so relate to this young autist that I felt like it was me standing against that wall.

I felt such tenderness for her.

Knowing, whilst I could see similarities, my own experience is different from hers, I felt my eyes filling up.

I also felt a swell of relief at the progress of time. These two girls know they are autistic at the age of 10.

They have access to the information that will help them to understand themselves and why some things are difficult and bewildering.

They have a language to explain all of this and are able to ask for what they need, an exit route or someone who can look out for them from the vantage of a shared neurotype.

This was my second full circle moment.

I could remember myself at parties at that age, they were excruciatingly difficult experiences for me (as shown in the photo above).

And I could feel how much my life and the world has been altered, some 40 years later, having access to the information to help myself and the next generation.

“They called us weird and I want it reported!”

The justice seeking autist was furious when she came out of the Laser area of the party.

“Some people on that blue team were really mean to us! They kept calling us weirdos and I want it reported. Now!”

I was hosting this party solo and whilst I knew she had every right to be furious I also knew that the blue team were there for someone’s birthday too.

How best to handle this? I wondered. Knowing I was about to get into drink and food serving mode.

The kids from my party, the red team, were all in conversation about it, exchanging notes on exactly how many times these two boys had called them weirdos.

“I want it reported!” The justice seeker demanded again.

“I totally agree with you, it is not ok for anyone to call you weirdo’s. The thing is, those boys are here for someone else’s birthday and I don’t really want to make that birthday person upset by formally complaining. Let’s all go and sit down and have a chat about how best to deal with this, shall we?”

Once I had settled them with drinks and pizza I asked them “What can happen to people when they are in a competitive environment?”

“they can get cross when they are not winning” wisely said from one of the 10 year old guests

“Exactly! competition can be fun and it can also bring out the worst in people, making them say mean things or behave in mean ways”

We talked about how being called a weirdo feels horrible.

Blimey, what an amazing thing that this 10 year old girl had just said. Already at such a young age she knew how to take the power out of someone trying to make you feel bad about yourself.

“And weirdo’s win!” piped up one of the boys “weirdos are winners!”

For yes, my wonderful 10th birthday party, red team, did win at LaserZone and also won a bit of my heart by the hope they brought to me.

* I’m a weirdo…What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here…..

Everyday I see a media story about the latest public figure who is using autism as a political punch bag, pretty much doing the same that those boys had in LaserZone, calling us weirdos on a world stage.

Not that I am trying to diminish the danger of the misinformation they spread or the damage it does in the stigma it causes. This stigma can be amplified to dangerous levels for those most marginalised by difference.

Please take hope from this LaserZone story I share. Because in some ways it is getting better for the next generation.

We, the generation of late discovered neurokin, who are helping the next generation to embrace their neurodivergence and have environments to thrive in, are calling this nonsense out.

We are giving the next generation access to information and united openness about all that their difference brings to them and this world.

Maybe we shout a big old “Thank You!” in the face of the public figures name calling.

*yes, that is a line from the Radiohead song creep! I can’t help but share my autist thing of thinking in song lyrics or film lines. Sometimes it creeps into my substack!

I first started writing this newsletter to you on Tuesday 2nd April:

As the date of the big day loomed, I’ve had a loose plan about what I wanted to say to you in this here newsletter.

Firstly, if you’ve recently subscribed to Belong… we are neurokin, a huge warm welcome to you….please do not adjust your sets!

Each month I bring you a topi…

Read more

At the end of February I went to a brilliant event in London; ✨ N⚡️D Leaders: A Celebration of Neurodivergent Excellence✨ by The Future is ND

I was blown away by the energy and confidence in the room, generated by both the brilliant speakers and everyone who attended.

The confidence was about what neurodivergence gives the world and how m…

Read more

Dear neurokin,

Why we’re focusing on Friendship

Friendship doesn't cause every neurodivergent person pain. Not everyone has had negative experiences of it or finds it difficult.

For me, friendship has come with a lifetime of difficulty, heartache and residual pain that makes it difficult to feel like I’m progressing in this area of life.

Of course I am l…

Read more

Dear neurokin,

Welcome to my first offering for Belong… we are neurokin of 2025. And welcome to a lot of new neurokin who have subscribed in December and January.

It’s great to have you here.

I hope that this year has started off well for you.

Creating a new pattern for starting the year

For me, I’ve resisted the urge to rush into 2025 like a bat out of h…

Read more

As we wrap up the end of 2024, in December I will be dedicating Belong…we are neurokin to celebrating the strengths of you and neurodiversity:

EXPLORE

• Acknowledging the strengths in the neurodiversity movement

• Celebrating my favourite neurodivergent leaders, writers and activists.

LEARN & GROW

Read more

Dear neurokin,

For the month of November in Belong…we are neurokin we’ll be exploring, learning and growing in our understanding of what it means for you to be healing from a late life neurodivergent discovery.

Read more

Dear neurokin,

Are you an employee? or do you run your own business or freelance?

I ask this upfront because this week’s topic explores the findings from some research into Neurodiversity in Business and Work

Each month I explore positive twists and interesting turns in neurodiversity.

Read more